Becoming a Streetwise Traveller
Assertiveness
Assertiveness involves learning how to communicate your wishes clearly, taking initiative, making decisions and assuming responsibility for and control over your life. Becoming familiar with assertive habits in all areas in your life, you will automatically begin to adopt a more positive attitude towards your ability to deal with danger.
The greatest advantage an attacker has is the element of surprise and the resultant freezing or passive response he expects from you. If you aren’t passive, you will surprise him and gain an advantage. His priority may then switch from attack to escape as he doesn’t want trouble.
What is so important about learning to be assertive in everyday life is that it gives you a control and a confidence in a whole range of situations. You learn to value yourself and your judgement, and these lessons are invaluable when you are threatened. Attackers prey on vulnerable people who come across as ‘victims’. Assertive body language is an essential part of self-defense techniques...
Habits that show assertiveness
- Erect, relaxed posture, with head and shoulders held straight. Do not stoop.
- Confident march or walk. Do not shuffle your feet.
- Balanced posture.
- Relaxed facial expression and open eye contact. Look the person you are speaking to in the eye. If you can’t see the person you are speaking to, turn your head and body toward the sound of his voice.
- Firm and controlled tone of voice.
- Casual hand movements, with hands open and relaxed.
- Maintenance of a comfortable distance between yourself and the other person.
By adopting an assertive attitude, you are telling the world that you are:
- Someone to be reckoned with.
- Someone who knows your own mind.
- Someone who will stand up for yourself.
- Someone who will not bow to the wishes of others if they aren’t compatible with your own.
- Someone who is NOT a victim.
Physical exercise helps build confidence, as well, sharpens you responses and builds up a new body-awareness, which will give you confidence in a dangerous situation.
Habits that show unassertiveness
- Slouched, hunched posture.
- An “apologetic’ shuffle when you walk.
- Weight on one leg while standing.
- Quick and nervous smile or tense brow, blushing.
- A tone of voice that is high or very quiet, uncertain, or mumbling.
- Hands clenched or fiddling with hair, clothing, etc.
- Allowing the other person to get too close.
Summary
Basic principles of the assertive way:
- Recognize that you have the right to decide in EVERY situation, what it is that YOU want.
- Listen to your intuition and allow it to tell you what it is that you want.
- Do not sublimate your feelings/wishes because you feel guilty or compassionate--learn to be angry.
- Do not let others persuade you to act against your wishes.
- State what you want clearly.
- Stick by your argument and repeat it, if necessary.
- Back up your words with assertive body language.